Client: What the fuck is going on? I paid for one month of search engine optimisation and thirty days later I am still not first when I search for shoes. How do you explain this?
Consultant: Look, as you would have read in the contract, we do not make time based promises. Also, “Shoes” is one of the most competitive keywords there is. Making things happen instantly just isn’t going to work.
Client: I don’t understand. I paid for this and I haven’t seen any results.
Consultant: Actually you have been sent a five page document outlining the long-tale keywords you are now ranking for and the increase of traffic. Also, as I can see in Google Analytics you are converting well. This means you are making shit loads of cash – get off my fucking back.
Client: I just want to come up first for shoes.
Consultant: I just want to fucking kill you.