SEO vs. Annoying Client – Episode 1

16 Sep


Client: Hi, thanks for meeting with me. My business sells clothing and I would like to come up first in Google for that keyword.

Consultant: Sure, I can make that happen for you. It is a very competitive keyword so you will need to sign up for our larger plan – it will cost $2000 per month.

Client: That’s probably more than I can afford. I will pay you $20 per month and if you get me to the top within on week I will tell my friends that you are great.

Consultant: Are you fucking serious? How the fuck would I be able to pay the bills if I only charged that much. If you were at the top for that keyword you would be a fucking millionaire. Why would you only pay us $20 per month you cheap bitch?

Client: Okay, maybe you will like this deal. I will let you work for free on my competitive keywords and then I will pay you your $2000 once I have been there for six months and know that I am making a return.

Consultant: How about I buy $100,000 of your clothing but I will only pay for it after I have been wearing it for six months. Sound like a good deal?

Client: You are funny. Also, I do not have a website yet so I need you to make that for me too. Can you do that for me?

Consultant: Sure, and why I am here, why don’t I fix your fucking printer too?

Client: Okay.

Consultant: Fuck you!


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